OMG!!!!
Rule of fandom!
Everybody knows all anime characters love to have sex, with everyone, that’s basically all they do, except for their more serious sides we see in the offical animes… I mean “Hidden village of Konoha” Basically could also be named “Hidden village of Orgies”
Right?
iThe Seme’s Handbook:
All semes MUST follow the following rules:
If you can’t make your uke come just by licking his ass… you suck in bed.
The number of dildos that any average seme owns (for his uke) would put any sex shop to shame.
The car you own is a BMW, Mercedes, Porche, or any other extra expensive make. Also, a seme’s car will defy the laws of physics by being larger inside than on the outside to allow for comfortable uke-smexing.
Regardless of what kind of seme you are, you love to talk dirty during sex.
Semes don’t eat cake. Ever.
Semes will hardly ever have sex completely naked. That’s an uke thing.
Rape= Love. The more you love your uke, the more right you have to rape him.
The cure for rape= more rape. If another seme kissed, touched, or looked at your uke, get rid of his mark by replacing it with your own.
You can forgive your uke for anything. It will either lead to sex (of the make-up variety) or more sex (as punishment). Either way, you win.
No matter how much your uke struggles, you can always tie your uke in a compromising position in five seconds flat. If this was a contest, you’d win first place hands down (or tied).
If you are foreign, you consider Japanese men cute and cuddly and will go to extreme lengths to turn them into your uke. This is especially true of American CEO’s, exchange students, Middle eastern princes, French patissiers, Chinese mafia hunks, Italian captains, and English noblemen with funny names.
Smexing your uke with his glasses is the ultimate goal. If the uke takes off his glasses before/while you smex him… you have failed.
You can’t afford to smex your uke with your glasses on because if that happens, you can’t be sure if the uke loves you or the glasses.
Ukes ooze pheromones. Chances are you can’t sense them, equip all possible aggressors among your underlings with gas masks just in case.
Never let you uke do any work! It’s the uke’s job to lie on the bed, it’s YOUR job to make him feel good at night. (If your uke hasn’t come at least five times, you’re doing it wrong).
Everybody is out to rape your uke. You’ve got to protect his chastity by guarding him day and night!
SAS-Semes Always Swallow. Spitting out semen is for wussies.
You don’t have to think to hard for the perfect birthday present for your uke- just do him eight times in a row. On the other hand, the only acceptable present for you is your uke wearing an apron and nothing else.
Selective hearing is a necessary trait in a seme. When your uke says “no,” what you hear is, “Please ignore my tears, resisting, and all that jazz because, really, I want you to continue”.
It’s perfectly normal to be able to pin a grown man to the wall only using one hand to grip his wrists.
After sex, you always wear the pajama pants. Your uke will wear the shirt, lest he wishes to tempt you again with his perky, pink nipples.
Want to learn the meaning behind your uke’s words? Use our handy uke- dictionary. “No, I don’t want this”- Fuck me. “Stop it!”- Fuck me. “I need to sleep.”- Fuck me. “What’s for dinner?”- Fuck me.
A seme must have different colored hair to his uke.
Ropes materialize out of thin air. Don’t worry about stashing ropes or ties around the house~ if you’ve got your uke under you, you can just pull a rope from sub-space to tie him up.
All semes MUST follow the following rules:
If you can’t make your uke come just by licking his ass… you suck in bed.
The number of dildos that any average seme owns (for his uke) would put any sex shop to shame.
The car you own is a BMW, Mercedes, Porche, or any other extra expensive make. Also, a seme’s car will defy the laws of physics by being larger inside than on the outside to allow for comfortable uke-smexing.
Regardless of what kind of seme you are, you love to talk dirty during sex.
Semes don’t eat cake. Ever.
Semes will hardly ever have sex completely naked. That’s an uke thing.
Rape= Love. The more you love your uke, the more right you have to rape him.
The cure for rape= more rape. If another seme kissed, touched, or looked at your uke, get rid of his mark by replacing it with your own.
You can forgive your uke for anything. It will either lead to sex (of the make-up variety) or more sex (as punishment). Either way, you win.
No matter how much your uke struggles, you can always tie your uke in a compromising position in five seconds flat. If this was a contest, you’d win first place hands down (or tied).
If you are foreign, you consider Japanese men cute and cuddly and will go to extreme lengths to turn them into your uke. This is especially true of American CEO’s, exchange students, Middle eastern princes, French patissiers, Chinese mafia hunks, Italian captains, and English noblemen with funny names.
Smexing your uke with his glasses is the ultimate goal. If the uke takes off his glasses before/while you smex him… you have failed.
You can’t afford to smex your uke with your glasses on because if that happens, you can’t be sure if the uke loves you or the glasses.
Ukes ooze pheromones. Chances are you can’t sense them, equip all possible aggressors among your underlings with gas masks just in case.
Never let you uke do any work! It’s the uke’s job to lie on the bed, it’s YOUR job to make him feel good at night. (If your uke hasn’t come at least five times, you’re doing it wrong).
Everybody is out to rape your uke. You’ve got to protect his chastity by guarding him day and night!
SAS-Semes Always Swallow. Spitting out semen is for wussies.
You don’t have to think to hard for the perfect birthday present for your uke- just do him eight times in a row. On the other hand, the only acceptable present for you is your uke wearing an apron and nothing else.
Selective hearing is a necessary trait in a seme. When your uke says “no,” what you hear is, “Please ignore my tears, resisting, and all that jazz because, really, I want you to continue”.
It’s perfectly normal to be able to pin a grown man to the wall only using one hand to grip his wrists.
After sex, you always wear the pajama pants. Your uke will wear the shirt, lest he wishes to tempt you again with his perky, pink nipples.
Want to learn the meaning behind your uke’s words? Use our handy uke- dictionary. “No, I don’t want this”- Fuck me. “Stop it!”- Fuck me. “I need to sleep.”- Fuck me. “What’s for dinner?”- Fuck me.
A seme must have different colored hair to his uke.
Ropes materialize out of thin air. Don’t worry about stashing ropes or ties around the house~ if you’ve got your uke under you, you can just pull a rope from sub-space to tie him up.
“
